Sailor Mercury Tuxedo Kamen Name: Mizuno Ami Name: Chiba Mamoru Birthday: September 10 Birthday: August 3 Blood Type: A Blood Type: A Hobby: Reading, chess Hobby: Reading Senshi Position: Inner Senshi Position: N/A Element: Water Element: N/A Fighting Style: Defensive Fighting Style: Offensive Secret Weapons: None Secret Weapons: Roses & Canes Damaging Attack: Mercury Aqua Rhapsody Damaging Attack: La Smoking Bomber
Okay, so how exactly would Sailor Mercury match up to Tuxedo Kamen? Well, we put both Sailor Senshi in a high-tech space age computers, and we took the information supplied by us and a special team of animators to come up with the ultimate match up! Unfortunately, the animation would take just way too much disk space, so we have our commentators do it for us. Straight from the Death Buster Headquarters we have Evil Hotaru & Professor Tomoe
E. Hotaru: Welcome to another exciting round of Mercury Vs. Today we have handsome Tuxedo Kamen, defender of Sailor Senshi Vs. The Unwinned Sailor Mercury.
P. Tomoe: Silent Messiah, have you noticed that MTV now has something much like we have? Celebrity Death Match. I assure you viewers, we were around first!
E. Hotaru: But Celebrity Death Match has so much more coverage. I wonder if Jackie and Janelle will shell out the money to have us all claymation. That'd be fun.
P. Tomoe: But until that day...let's get ready toooooooo........suuccc---
E. Hotaru: Otou-san, please, this is family programning. Well, the fight has started. Tuxedo Kamen is staring directly into Mercury's eyes and he's saying stuff, can we have audio please?
Tuxedo Kamen: "Sailor Mercury, be brave, the rabbit flies at Moonlight."
P. Tomoe: What IS he talking about?!
E. Hotaru: Shh, Otou-san, this is his patented "Stupid-Vague-Advice Technique."
Tuxedo Kamen: "One of the principle functions of a friend is to suffer the punishments that we would like, but are unable to inflict on our enemies."
P. Tomoe: OOH! That was dirty! He just wacked Mercury in the knee with his cane.
E. Hotaru: That was an interesting quote he used, Aldous Huxley, I do believe. Mercury is retaliating by biting Tuxedo Kamen's hands. How savage.
P. Tomoe: You do what you have to do. Tuxedo's taking out a rose and muttering more nonsense...
E. Hotaru: Oh my god! He's shoved the rose into Mercury's eye. Is there nothing sacred anymore?!
Tuxedo Kamen: "A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Isn't that right, Tsukikage no Knight?"
P. Tomoe: What? Tsukikage no What? What's he talking about? Why is he talking to himself? Mercury looks pissed now...Look behind you Tux!!
E. Hotaru: She's taking out her Aqua Harp. Ouuuuch, harp to the gut. That's gotta hurt...she's doing an Mercury Aqua Rhapsody to Tux's--
P. Tomoe: *wince* Ow, oh, Tux's grandkids are going to feel that one. There should be a law about directing attacks below the belt.
E. Hotaru: And Tux is on the ground, this'll give Mercury some time to pull that rose out of her eye.
P. Tomoe: Tuxedo's saying stuff! Turn the audio back on!
Tuxedo Kamen: "He was a wise man who invented God, wasn't he? Aristotle said that. I bet you think you're so smart, well I went to Harvard for college!"
Sailor Mercury: "It wasn't Aristotle who said that, you idiot, it was Socrates!"
E. Hotaru: Actually, it was Plato.
P. Tomoe: Shh!
E. Hotaru: Oh goodness, they're fighting again, Mercury is doing a continuous stream of ice onto Tuxedo Kamen. He's getting really, really annoyed. P. Tomoe: It's about time he whipped out his La Smoking Bomber!
E. Hotaru: OH MY GOD DADDY!!! It's a La Smoking Nuclear Bomber! Tux has a maniacal look in his eyes, run away!!!!
Tuxedo Kamen: "HeHHEhHEHHHEH....IT'S ARISTOTLE!!!! ARISTOTLE I SAY! HEE...WHEEEE..."
P. Tomoe: Well, it's time for me and Hotaru-chan to sign off, until next time, Sayonara!
E.Hotaru: C'MON OTOU-SAN!
***BOOM! CRASH..KABLOOEY..BAM..BOOM! PSSSSSSSSSSSH***
***Moments later you feel a slight tremor, and you can live knowing, rest assured, they're both dead****
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